Bluesky is Threads is Clubhouse is Mastodon is Google+ is Hive Social is Diaspora is Doomed

But Hey, At Least It’s Not Xwitter!

Imagine a social media platform made up almost entirely of cancel culture clowns. Now imagine no longer!

“Threads is a good product. [Elon] Musk gave [Mark] Zuckerberg an opening, and if this was a cage match he would’ve have the stuffing knocked out of him. I don’t think [Twitter] can recover.” — Tech “expert” Kara Swisher, 16July2023

“Don't fly, mister blue bird, I'm just walkin' down the road / You're my Blue Sky, you're my sunny day..." - Allman Brothers

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Threads, we hardly knew ye. Sorry Zuck; Bluesky’s the new Xwitter-killer. Not.

Since the controlled corrupt collectivist corporate criminal clown media’s hive mind mental illness of delusional narcissism necessitates by definition a blind refusal to examine its own shortcomings but instead seek ever-deeper refuge in the dank polluted #FakeNews bubble of its own making, Election Day’s humiliating repudiation of the ersatz Establishment narrative(s) about fascist Nazi racist sexist transphobe Donald Trump and Joy-ful girl boss brat Kamala Harris the first black Asian Vice-President of color has resulted in the latest predictable and tiresome tween middle school girl hissy fit, as yet another media mass exodus off Xwitter is under way, yawn, this time to Bluesky, the Xwitter competitor indie-launched by Twitter’s founder and former CEO Jack Dorsey in 2021…but that Dorsey actually disowned last May, when he told the public that Bluesky had failed, that it had become what it fought against. Now Dorsey is backing Musk’s Xwitter once again.

So Jack’s back, but Jamie Lee Curtis is gone. Along with Don Lemon, Bette Midler, The Guardian newspaper, and so on. Right now there’s a full-court press from the groaning gaping butthurt corporate media and the usual suspects in the Hollywood cult to convince the general public that Bluesky is going to be the next big hot social media thing and we all need to best get there immediately. Uh-huh.

What’s that definition of insanity? Doing the same thing over and over yet expecting a different result? Smart money says Bluesky will prove to be no different than the prior attempts by corporate news whores and Hollywood puppets to shun Elon Musk and Xwitter and gravitate the national conversation to Mark Zuckerberg’s Threads or the pedophile haven Mastodon or the already forgotten also-rans of Hive Social or Diaspora, or before all that the doomed Google+ (R.I.P.) and a graveyard of failed wannabes.

How many of these Social Media platforms (R.I.P.) did you join?

Everything about this new “savior” platform for thin-skinned lefties screams “punch line,” right down to its naïve name. Straight outta the Oxford Dictionary: "Creative or visionary & unconstrained by practicalities." In other words, Bluesky provides a safe space for the “modern audience” of insufferable frustrated theater kids who don't live in the real world but inexplicably continue to believe they should be allowed to run the country and our lives. How perfect!

Bluesky’s dreams of a pre-Musk Utopia of like-minded leftist True Believers and resistance partisans, gleefully stifling any debate points offered by minions of Orange Hitler 2.0, will almost surely slam into the brick wall of mainstream resistance for all the same reasons that much bigger platforms from technoligarchs with deeper pockets like Threads and Google+ failed: They didn’t offer the better mousetrap, capitalism-wise. 

Every indicator, leading up to and post-election, from the American public strongly suggests the majority wants more free-wheeling free speech online, not less. They want to try to figure out what the hell is going on for themselves, instead of some blow-dried blowjob talking head they don’t trust parroting propaganda at them. It’s reflected in the masses’ move from corporate media newscasts to long-form interview podcasts, but also in the continuing growth of Musk’s Xwitter, which despite ongoing flaws, has become the most critical weapon in the Info War that’s a Culture War that’s Civil War 2 but actually WW3 yet above everything else a Spiritual War. 

But Bluesky has got bigger problems than that. Create a habitat for whiny thin-skinned dopes, prepare for the fussbudget fallout — “Blue Cry,” as somebody mocked on Xwitter. It’s been my experience that miserable people don’t stop being miserable by changing their environment (“No matter where you go, there you are.”), so it should surprise no one that Blue Sky’s moderation team is getting buried under complaints from users snitching on each other for perceived incidents of racism, sexism, Trump-ism, misinformation-ism, micro-aggression-ism. 

Moreover, it’s gonna be hard to get the loudest mouths who drive the leftist Narratives but aren’t celebrities — “Brooklyn Dad”, “JoJo from Jerz,” Andrew Leach, etc. — to be as invested in Bluesky because they’re getting paid to move the needle on Xwitter. What’s the use of trying to influence the national conversation on a platform where everybody thinks, talks and “skeets” the same. 

Oh yeah. “Skeets.” A skeet is what a post on Bluesky is called, combining “Sky” + “Tweet” — which goes to show just how much Bluesky parasites off old Twitter. Except that “skeet” for many years has already been obscene slang,“the act of ejaculation,” popularized by Dave Chappelle in the mid-00’s. Perhaps a “skeet” is the perfect term for a super-sensitive social media platform designed by and for self-centered, self-indulgent, unfuckable wankers, but it doesn’t seem a portmanteau brand identity likely to go mainstream.

“You know what’s so dope about ‘skeet’? White people don’t know what it means yet. When they figure it out, they’re going to be like, ‘My god! What have we done?!?’” — Dave Chappelle

Right now it’s not close, despite the orchestrated corporate media/Hollywood push. Bluesky claims to have 19 million users, but 4 million of them came from Brazil in August when that country banned Xwitter (Brazil surrendered to Musk October 8th, re-permitting Xwitter use, followed by the majority of Brazilian accounts on Bluesky immediately going dormant). Xwitter currently has 586 million regular users and 245 million daily users. Bluesky ain’t in skeeting distance.

Finally, there is the strange correlation but surely not causation of the massive wave of CSAM (“child sex abuse material”) that has suddenly hit Bluesky at the exact same time of the huge influx of corporate media/Hollywood personalities migrated to the platform. Just like the strange correlation but surely not causation of kiddie porn that overwhelmed Mastodon after the #FakeNews crew and L.A.’s Diddy pals moved there when Musk bought Twitter. I’m certainly not claiming there’s any specific connection between the two, but I will say that all that criminal pedo-friendly shit on Mastodon drove the normies away, and the same will go for Bluesky. The relentless perverse propaganda push to make the hideous crime of kid-fucking palatable to the public has flopped harder than “Latinx,” gracias a Dios. 

All of the things I’ve mentioned above and probably more that I’ve not thought to mention will combine to ensure lame Bluesky — all the rage now, forgotten by Christmas; the lockdown’s Clubhouse for the post-Trump landslide — fails to grow into anything more than a fringe Xwitter alternative for a small subsection of weak-minded, cellophane-skinned, low I.Q., vanity unfair, walled-garden circle jerkoffs, masturbatorially skeeting their unwanted hot takes at a horrified public grossed out by their single-minded inability to tolerate other viewpoints or engage in civilized intellectual debate. 

Then, after Bluesky fails, some other contender will rise, and the media lemmings will flock to that. One of these days, the “resistance” might even get it right. Except they’ll have to stop doing it wrong. Unlikely they can; remember that axiom about insanity. 

I signed up, just to capture the personal real estate. No public skeeting, I promise. My identity and bio are mockery; IYKYK.