Mourning Joe Scarborough-Brzezinski in Hell
Be Brave, Joe. Don't Go Into Hiding. Again.
[A version of this article was originally published on MEDIUM the afternoon of July 1, 2020. Joe Scarborough began an unannounced leave of absence from MSNBC on July 3, 2020, which was not addressed until July 15th. The original article was deleted from Medium without warning or recourse June 30, 2021. This version has been supplemented, amended and updated.]
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More than two-and-a-half years after the majority of this piece initially ran on dead-platform-walking MEDIUM, MSNBC’s A.M. propagandist Jumpy Joe Scarborough continues to say incredibly stupid things generally and about the Covid virus/vaccine specifically on his daily breakfast show Morning Joe.
This week, Joe got roundly mocked for catching da Covid after three shots, as he lamented to his ever-shrinking number of Morning Joe viewers not the failure of the mRNA injections that clearly aren’t a vaccine, but instead how he didn’t junkie-up in time with a second booster/fourth shot to stop it. An angry Joe further lashed out at anyone who doesn’t keep getting the boosters as “objectively stupid.”
Yet let’s see who is actually “objectively stupid,” shall we? But before we do, ricocheting backwards 30 months, let’s recap what happened after this piece was published late on July 1, 2020.
First, Joe Scarborough didn’t show up for work at Morning Joe on July 3, 2020…and nobody talked about it. Joe just vanished. Poof. The invisible elephant in the room. I wondered if he got arrested.
Joe was gone for a while. Quite a while. Weeks. For some reason, the controlled corrupt collectivist corporate media was strangely silent regarding his absence. Finally, two weeks later, on July 15th, his wife and co-host Mika Brzezinski finally said something about it, claiming she told him to take time off (after reading this, you might understand why).
What’s even more interesting is that, in the aftermath, there’s been an online attempt to rewrite history, like Joe didn’t disappear roughly a day after this article appeared, but instead the week earlier, as this incorrect story from free-falling Adweek’s TVNewser claims. It says nobody had seen Joe since June 26th.
Yet we know that can’t be correct, because here’s a story from The Wrap, chronicling Joe Scarborough’s July 2nd mockery of President Orange’s claim the Coronavirus was just “magically going to go away, that we had nothing to worry about.”
Anyway, that’s the backstory. Now let’s recycle my July 2020 piece about Joe Scarborough and The Secret History, shall we?
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You know who’s just luvin’ this double-plus-good black magick whammy of Captain Trips hoax(es) and Civil War II? MSNBC’s ever-ballistic ball-peen hammerhead Joe Scarborough-Brzezenski, that’s who!
Of course, every crony capitalism-contaminated whore in the corrupt controlled corporate media is loving 2020’s Civil Coronavirus Wars. It’s flat out terrible for America, plus (+?) it takes the focus off how most of these smug self-righteous clowns are globalist liars, cheats, frauds and/or sex criminals.
But Joe Scarborough-Brzezenski’s a special case, because a couple months back people were starting to talk (again) about how maybe Joe’s not just your run-of-the-mill “bang-the-intern” sex creep but maybe a murder-y sex criminal, too!
Let’s go back, way back, a whole eight weeks that feel like eight months, and then we’ll go back 20 years. First stop via the zeitgeist zipline parks us in mid-May, 2020, when the opening round of media mayhem for the overhyped/under-analyzed COVID (“Certificate Of Vaccination I.D.”?) crisis was kicking in from “Nah, it’s nothing, ride the subway,” to “Holy shit, it’s The End of the World!”
At that tipping moment, the Top Story, according to narcissistic navel-gazing double-digit IQ pundits in the media, was President Orange’s latest ruthless attack on one of their own: Cabbage Patch doll-faced Joe Scarborough-Brzezenski, the titular co-host of MSNBC’s Morning Joe.
From his early A.M. perch, Joe drops his hot takes on the news of the day and foists his feisty and kinda ugly-hot but whiny-shrewish emasculating co-host/wife Mika Brzezenski upon America. Mika’s been parachuted in from the cap of the Illuminati Pyramid as high-falutin’ and ever-demanding daughter of reptile-blooded globalist ghoul Zbigniew Brzezenski, R.I.P. you S.O.B., and hold that thought!
Prez Naranja had just pulled his latest chart-topping Twitter stunt, reminding the world that the former Florida G.O.P. Congresscritter turned cable news blowhard once had a lovely, winsome, 20-something intern named Lori Klausutis die super-mysteriously in his office.
Adorable, married, former president of the Emerald Coast Young Republicans, Ms. Klausutis was working all alone late at night in Joe Scarborough-Brzezenski’s Fort Walton Beach office in July, 2001. It was an inopportune time to be flying solo: The fit, fetching female distance runner suffered a heretofore undiagnosed cardiac arrhythmia that caused her to pass out, fall, and hit her head on a desk in just such a way that it killed her, boom.
My take? Be more cynical. Don’t trust the collective pearl-clutching from rabid non-barking dogs in the news media towards anyone asking whether the Official Story™ about Ms. Klausutis’s death sounds a little shady. Remember, corporate media’s favorite mantra is “We’re All In This Together,” but that could mean any number of things, including an inverted Revelation of the Method dark occult linguistic spell.
Like #FakeNews formulas, it’s all faux pearl clutching too — The Horror, the Horror that anyone would say such things about Joe! Another crazy amnesiac moment in our post-modern “news” media: No one remembers nuthin’ in a mind-melting wasteland of the eternal NOW, so forget Lori Klausutis! She’s so pre-9/11!
But ride the zipline redux with me anyway, back back back, back nearly 20 years, to May 2001. Right after the turn of the millennium (the REAL turn of the millennium, 01Jan01), when it was hardly any kind of out-of-left-field suggestion that the Republican congressperson might’ve known more about his intern’s death than he was saying.
Corporate media may act like nobody ever really talked about Joe Scarborough-Brzezenski’s dead intern before, but that’s bullshit. In fact, up until recently, the two most vociferous voices questioning whether “Mourning Joke” offed the office ingenue came from the Left: Oscar-winning director, documentarian, and rare loudmouth lefty I respect more than I dislike, Michael Moore; and obscene betrayer of the Democratic principle, DailyKos Founder and presumed CIA asset Markos Moulitsas Zúniga (I’ll get to him in a moment).
Here’s the timeline: In May 2001, five months into his fourth two-year term in Congress, Joe Scarborough-Brzezenski suddenly and unexpectedly announced his intention to resign to “spend more time with [my] children.”
Does anybody legit buy that? It’s like PR speak for “I blew it.” [Right, LAURA TAIT?] So is it more likely Joe quit his Congress gig to be a better dad…or that something illicit was discovered (like an affair?) and Joe was told to quietly step down and it would all be hushed up? Onward:
July 21, 2001 — Lori Klausutis was found dead in Joe Scarborough-Brzezenski’s Congressional office.
July-September, 2001 — According to this web archive, only two local newspapers covered Lori Klausutis’s death. The Northwest Florida Daily News published 21 articles about it and the Pensacola News Journal ran three. There was no national coverage.
September 5, 2001 — Joe Scarborough-Brzezenski leaves Congress.
September 11, 2001 — 9/11 Inside Job. Dead intern story disappears for years (as do many others).
May 29, 2003 — Appearing on the late Don Imus’s radio program, Scarborough is blindsided nastily by the host: “You said that you had sex with the intern and then you had to kill her,” Imus says to Joe. Instead of being offended or pushing back, Scarborough laughs and replies “Yeah, well, what are you gonna do?”
In June 2004, as filmmaker Michael Moore got entwined in an escalating public war of the words with Joe Scarborough-Brzezenski, the Flint evangelist registered the domain name joescarboroughkilledhisintern.com. Moore refuses to talk about it nowadays. Even he’s afraid of Mika, I guess.
But wait, there’s more! In July 2010, the 9th anniversary of poor tragic Lori Klausutis’s shady death, DailyKos’s Markos Moulitsas was banned from MSNBC , following a Twitter confrontation with Joe Scarborough-Brzezenski. Markos — who was stationed in Germany with the U.S. Army and later trained by CIA — mocked the media double standard between dead Republican intern Klausutis (not much attention) and Democrat Gary Condit’s long-missing and later found dead intern Chandra Levy (a 24/7 news network horror show from which New York Times columnist Frank Rich coined the term “Mediagasm,” which I still like using to this day but Hollywood sell-out Frank seems to have disavowed).
[MODERN MOCKINGBIRD ALT-MEDIA ASIDE: In the aughts, I was a big reader and proponent of Daily Kos. I even met and spoke at length with Kos himself, Markos Moulitsas Zúniga, at a JWT [R.I.P.] event, where, in a rare moment of globalist marketing conglomerate benevolence, they let me be his “handler” for the afternoon. Markos was smart, engaging, opinionated, very high on himself but not aloof, and good company. I was a screaming lefty liberal at that point, I wanted Bush and Cheney and Rumsfeld in jail or put to death (still do!) for war crimes. Kos was one of my heroes, “Crashing the Gate” of the gatekeepers. But of course it turned out Kos was a gatekeeper himself. In his notorious June 6, 2006 (6/6/6!) speech to San Francisco’s Commonwealth Club, Kos said he’d spent up to two years training at the Central Intelligence Agency in Washington, D.C. It began in 2001, Kos went on to detail (before he started DailyKos), and continued until the beginning of his involvement with Howard Dean’s presidential campaign in late 2003. This dateline would confirm Markos was in training with the CIA in D.C. (at “the farm”?) for as much as two years. So, basically, it turned out my alt-left journalism hero was just another Mockingbird media asset.]
Another interesting element to Lori Klausutis was her husband, Dr. Timothy Klausutis. The doctor did research and development for the munitions group at nearby Eglin Air Force Base. Eglin Air Force Base has historically been a hotbed of CIA operations, identified by Reddit as their most reddit-addicted “city.” How did Eglin Air Force Base become Reddit’s top city? Perhaps because it’s long been and continues to be cited as a primary source of government social media propaganda and astroturfing programs. Eglin also houses the Air Force Research Laboratory’s Munitions Directorate, which claims to be the “global leader in advancing weapons science and technology.”
Then there is the shady Florida Medical Examiner Dr. Michael Berkland, who said Klausutis suffered a “hairline skull fracture” but made sure to insist she “wasn’t whacked in the head.” Hopefully by this point you’ve noticed one Law of Inversion magician’s linguistic trick is to tell you what things are not, to place that negative connotation in your head. Even when they are.
The initial reports from Medical Examiner Berkland’s office denied any trauma to the body that would indicate cause of death. But under questioning on August 6th, 2001, Berkland admitted Lori Klausutis had sustained a “scratch and a bruise” on her head. Berkland went on to explain his original denials regarding other signs of violence were to prevent undue speculation about the cause of death. “The last thing we wanted was 40 questions about a head injury,” Berkland said. I’m sure!
Another thing Dr. Berkland didn’t want, and fortuitously for him didn’t come out at the time, was his past. Berkland’s a three time loser. He was “charged with stealing more than 100 body parts found in a storage unit he rented” in 2012, according to NWF Daily News. Berkland also lost his Florida job in 2003 for “being slow to complete autopsy reports.” Finally, CBS News reported, “Berkland was fired as a contract medical examiner in 1996 in Jackson County, Missouri, in a dispute over his caseload and autopsy reports. His doctor’s license was ultimately revoked there.”
In other words, the M.E. who performed the autopsy on Klausutis has a troublesome history to say the least, leaving three jobs in disgrace throughout his career. Three strikes usually means you’re out…unless you get double-tapped somewhere along the line, maybe?
The communications war against Klausutis was waged on multiple fronts. In the early scramble to apparently come up with some story, any story, that would not suggest foul play, the idea of suicide was floated. Family scoffed, but the media kept pushing, until finally the Klausutis clan wrote an open letter to the editor in the Florida Daily News:
“For those who knew Lori, the thought of suicide, as your published reports suggested, is absolutely unthinkable. Suicide was contrary to her faith and being. She did not suffer from seizures, nor did she have a history of medical problems.”
That’s pretty low, don’t you think? Forcing the family to write that “our beloved daughter, sister and friend did not kill herself by blunt force trauma to her own head.” But that’s the cruel, controlled anti-human corporate media for you.
Here’s a random oddity: Perhaps you remember the days when washed-up money-losing Buzzfeed had real journalists working for them, like Michael Hastings? The guy digging into all kinds of skullduggery around the intel community, who was assassinated when his car inexplicably plowed into a tree and blew up — TWICE? Anyway, shortly after Hasting’s grisly and untimely death, his presumably heartbroken girlfriend Elise Jordan took a new job…Working for Joe and Mika on their MSNBC show. Small world!
Ah yes. Mika. What about severe Deep State debutante turned dominatrix Mika, a daughter of a devil, who deserves an entire spade-and-blowtorch column all her own, but will hopefully be arrested or suicided before I get a chance to write it?
I kid, I kid…Still, you gotta figure Mika’s a spicy little minx, don’t you? Who can forget her eminently unprofessional interview with Russell Brand, where the handsome and devilish silver tongued rogue all but spanked the distressed TV damsel intellectually and you can tell she just loved it. Pity the poor NBC intern who had to hose down Mika’s Aeron Chair after that one (though rumor has it [now former] MSNBC Chairman Andy Lack demanded said chair be dismantled and its seat delivered to his office in a hermetically sealed bin, which he only opens under rainy full moons).
Perhaps not so coincidentally, Mika’s first husband Jim Hoffer was also a reporter. Or another controlled media asset, sure looks like to meeeeeee. Dude’s worth $2 million on a journalist’s salary. He’s won Emmys and a Peabody, which are both intel circle jerks. Father is anonymous. All kinds of elite intelligence community fingerprints all over this guy, to the point where I’ll just yank my collar like Rodney Dangerfield and move on, if ya don’t mind…
In any event…Mika Brzezinski obviously wears the pants in that relationship, and she doesn’t mind showing us she hangs left, either. I can totally see a merciless Mika screeching like a violent Valkyrie victorious, pegging poor Joe while he squeals in pitifully punctured porcine passion like Dom DeLuise or whoever that fat fuck was in Deliverance. My guess is jinxed Joe’s been getting reamed over since 2001, cuz I’ve been hearing about him getting reamed over since about 2001.
Yup, yup, yup. Here’s the Conspiracy Theory scoop of poop, take it or leave it. No idea if it’s true, but everything’s a lie nowadays and Joe Scarborough and the controlled corrupt corporate media are sure acting like they’ve got something to hide (in this case and in many many others). So as a total hail Mary, Joseph and Namath, culled from what’s been kicking around The Secret History types for years and years, here goes:
Scarborough was having an affair with intern Lori Klausutis. It was discovered by some unknown Black Ops party, and used as leverage against him. Instead of folding and becoming a pawn, Scarborough tried the honorable-ish way out, and resigned Congress.
Displeased by getting out-smarted and out-martyred, the indeterminate Black Ops bad guys killed Klausutis to put Scarborough back under their thumb. They knew he didn’t want people digging into her history. Something might come out. The bad guys could either make it easy or hard for him. While Joe Scarborough didn’t kill anybody, he would be the most likely suspect, especially if word of the illicit intern affair got out. Now bought and paid for by the blood of a political lamb, Scarborough’s new murderous masters plunk him into a cushy propaganda job at MSNBC.
What were his options? The other choice was to find his life & reputation & maybe freedom lost.
Can you blame him? At the time, it certainly looked like Deep State Triumphant, moving from win to win, dividing the American people and tearing apart the national fabric. Well on its way to destabilizing and destroying the United States under ye olde clichéd but looking increasingly probable godless globalist one world government conspiracy.
It was probably a bitter pill for Joe Scarborough-Brzezenski to swallow, but he got a lot in exchange for his soul: Gifted a TV show of some influence, and granted a top-tier bloodline lioness as cabal and coven conjugal compensation — a spoiled witch who’s bossy and half-unhinged, perhaps, but smart as a whip and with twice the taste for it.
I make no claims of truth to this spicy Conspiracy Theory, but I love tossing it out there, particularly since Joe thought the death of his intern was good for a few laffs on Imus (who, let’s remember, he ended up replacing!). It makes as much sense as “healthy, vibrant, lovely, fit, married runner suffers previously unknown heart problem and passes out, tragically clobbering her head on on the side of a table just-so and dying suddenly.”
Either way, ambitious killer or just another vile blowhard schmuck, no matter how you slice it, Joe Scarborough-Brzezenski is the textbook quintessential simpering wimp for what passes as journalism today. He’s got a shady past with blackmail-able fringes; lives in a suspect present, straddling and getting straddled in the dangerous ménage-à-trois of politics, corporate media and the intelligence community; keeps it all in the Family, with Deep State bloodline creeps and connections; is a self-hating white guy; and of course, holds one essential viewpoint for any newsbot today: Joe Scarborough-Brzezenski never met a war he didn’t love Love LOVE.
But my guess is the darkness goes deeper than that, above and beyond the usual M.I.C. corruption. And I write that using the limited number of puzzle pieces I’ve shared above, and the growing experience over my career that the higher someone rises in corporate media, the more likely it is they are compromised to follow a certain specific worldview from which they cannot deviate.
But if you play along — Ah! You can literally get away with murder. In fact, for some people, murder’s a great way to get…Inside.
The piece is very well-written and quite entertaining for the conspiracy-minded tabloid crowd.